Also weird is the fact that only two night of sleep separate me from step 1 of the board exams for medical school. I'm actually at Fee Hall right now. Studying on the floor is not ideal. I would have laughed if you'd told me I'd be here a few days before boards, but I'm tired of coffee shops and my apartment. Blah.
But, I was just thinking that I should add some of my thoughts here so I can look back and relish in the fact that I am no longer in this stage of life someday.
- I can't stand working by myself. I go kind of stir crazy. Thus I am a terrible serious studier. It took medical school to make me realize this. I used to think I was kind of good at it. I am not.
- I can't wait to work with people in 2 weeks. I get to work with people in two weeks!! That seems unreal.
- I wondered today if First Aid or the Savarese study review books or perhaps endless numbers of pharm and micro notecards will be useful for the next couple board exams...this was my thought as I thought about all the ways I'd wished I studied these materials throughout the last year. Kind of a "welp, I hope going through them now is still helpful down the road." We'll see...
- I feel like I did after finishing organic chemistry in undergrad. My thought is that if I could do it over, I'd do a lot of things differently and thus make the whole experience less stressful. To be clear, if I could do these two years over, I would not. Not that I wouldn't choose to be a doctor, but it's a once and done forever kinda deal. I wouldn't discourage people from doing it, just to really know you want to be a doctor.
- Studying is a lot like exercising. Both beneficial and not bad once you get your butt out of bed and start at it. It's the starting that's the hardest part. And the more you just think about doing it, the more discouraged and unmotivated you get. As Coach Boze once said, "Don't think. Just do."
- I'm incredibly thankful for a group of friends in medical school who are supportive and encouraging. Never slow to remind me that this test, while cumbersome and irritating, ought not be given higher priority than it deserves. For example, we can still be the same kind of doctor we aspire to be whether we score in the top ten percent or just barely pass. And for friends and family who aren't in med school, to remind me of my life outside of studying.
- I'm scared I may not pass. A ridiculous statement, I know, but I really am. But, experience for the past two years has taught me that that fear of not passing is often inaccurate. I've been afraid before, and passed, so...no worries, right? It also reminded of this quote from The Alchemist:
The Alchemist: Tell your heart that the fear of suffering (or failing) is worse than the suffering ( or failing) itself. And that no heart has ever suffered (or failed) when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.
Santiago: When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I’ve discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve.
As you know, I LOVE the Alchemist!!! I need to reread it again for all of those wonderful words of wisdom. And I remember all those times when we talked about "Don't think. Just do." during exams, that totally got me through them. Miss you and all of our wonderful conversations. Good Luck!!!!! God will surely bless you!
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