Kenya Cliffnotes

Pictures first!

Tea Fields!!

Mountains!

The white/red buildings in the top/central portion of the trees is Tenwek from a distance!

JAMBO from Kenya! Feeling blessed by the Kenyan hospitality/vibrancy of life, being reminded that God is faithful, and inspired to be in a place that makes me wanna be a missionary doctor!

A really awesome, brilliant, and new (feels old) friend of mine, named Cat, gave me a diary of sorts. It's a 5 year diary where you write a line a day for 5 years. And the line for the day in each of the 5 years is on the same page. Confused? Well, just understand it's awesome. And also going to be the basis for how I share about my trip in Kenya. I meant to update this 7 days at a time, but got lazy/wanted to do other things. So here is the first 12 days of 2014, all in Kenya!

The streets of Nairobi, skilled drivers only...aka Glado

Jan 1 - Kenya dance party, learned about Kenyan carjacking--thankfully not by experience, visited numerous malls in Nairobi & I'm thankful for Gladys Anyenya

Heading out for New Year's Kenyan Style with the Hillsdale College Kenyans!

Jan 2 - Arrived at Tenwek! Had lunch with the White Family, hospital orientation, walked to the waterfall in the rain, played wallyball--so painful to the arms!!

The dam that provides energy and water for the hospital!

Jan 3 - Day 1 at the hospital in the peds ward--LOVE it! So many sick kids & babies, but such a joy to be with them. Also rounded in NICU--so much to learn!

Jan 4 - Rounded in nursery today, calculated NG feeds for the first time & held babies : ) So impressed by their moms! (they come and breastfeed every 3 hours 24 hrs a day...!) Long walk exploring. Special greeting from a 2 year old girl via an unsuspecting handshake.

Jan 5 - Nursery NICU work today. Did an exchange transfusion on a hyperbili baby today--took 3.5 hours. Exchanged 500cc in this little tyke. 10cc in...10cc out...

Jan 6 - First day of rounds with Dr. Bemm. So very overwhelmed with the complexity of some kids. HIV is a terrible thing. As is TB & meningitis. Enter immunization discussion here...

Jan 7 - Would love being/raising a kid here. Had lunch with a family who had 4 boys = climbing, daredevil machines. This landscape is better than any jungle gym.

Jan 8 - Learning about PDAs in neonates, palmer pulses, and murmurs. Love how much we pray for patients--for Bible study we prayed with all the peds patients.

Jan 9 - In Kenya, there's 0 privacy on the wards & mom's sleep in the bed with their kids--and breastfeed and bathe their newborns every 3 hours. Totally committed.

Jan 10 - I am really enjoying taking care of Granton; a new HIV patients with PCP. Fun to see kids getting better.

Jan 11 - Rounded this AM. I am loving the nursery. It's kinda like watching a plant grow, only better.

Jan 12 - Breakfast at Barb's, Church over 1 Samuel (Promise keepers), Climbed Motigo = 360 degree view of Kenya, Delicious fresh bread, Great conversation, Card games...Solid Sunday.

We have a cook! Life here is better than in the US! And food is delicious!!

Veggies & Caffeine > Facebook

So, there are things I've been wanting to do, but have yet to actually accomplish. These things have been inspired by three of my most favorite people: Katie Mueller and Mallory Luke and Brianne Maxwell.

The first day we met. Freshmen at Hillsdale.

1. Eat healthier. Ispo facto...more raw food, less freezer food. This is inspired by me new basically vegan friend Katie. And necessary before I slip into even worse eating habits in residency. I need some quick go to recipes to rely on.








2. Limit Facebook in my life. Or, as my beautifully, intelligent sister has done, remove it altogether.







3. Drink better coffee and waste less coffee. (perhaps more superficial than the last two, but...) Thank you Bre for showing me how to bring my favorite coffee shop Populace Cafe into my own home. Bre can also be partially responsible for change number 2 as she has shared the benefits of being Facebook free with me.







SO, I've made 2/3 changes. I still have yet to see the fruits of my labor in cooking more veggies and microwaving less frozen pizzas and dinners. But, I'll do my best to keep you posted on my success and inevitable failures in trying tofu...green smoothies...and I dare say, Brussels sprouts.

Thank you Mal, for the "if Mal can do it, I can do it" motivation

I've just deleted my Facebook account. This is perhaps the most difficult change, but I'm tired of shifting through my newsfeed late at night when I should be sleeping. I have little to no self control. It's embarrassing but true that I spend waaaay too much time on Facebook, and neglect other forms of communication I value much, much more. It's too dangerous for my procrastinating ways. And despite it really putting a cramp in my ability to log in to Spotify, Pandora will suffice until I get the kinks worked out.

My new pour over coffee "maker" which gets its idea credit from Bre, awesome mug credit from Mal, and store-where-I-bought-it credit from Populace. A filter filled with espresso ground coffee and a generous dash of pumpkin spice makes for a quick, one cup bit of energy on these brisk, fall mornings. Perhaps nutmeg with replace the pumpkin come wintertime.

Miracles

Leif Enger on Miracles in his book Peace Like a River.

     Let me say something about that word: miracle. For too long it's been used to characterize things or events that, though pleasant, are entirely normal. Peeping chicks at Easter time, spring generally, a clear sunrise after an overcast week--a miracle, people say, as if they've been educated from greeting cards. I'm sorry, but nope. Such things are worth our notice every day of the week, but to call them miracles evaporates the strength of the word.
     Real miracles bother people, like strange sudden pains unknown in medical literature. It's true: They rebut every rule all we good citizens take comfort in. Lazarus obeying orders and climbing up out of the grave--now there's a miracle, and you can bet it upset a lot of folks who were standing around at the time. When a person dies, the earth is generally unwilling to cough him back up. A miracle contradicts the will of earth.
     My sister, Swede, who often sees to the nub, offered this: People fear miracles because they fear being changed--though ignoring them will change you also. Swede said another thing, too, and it rang in me like a bell: No miracle happens without a witness. Someone to declare, Here's what I saw. Here's how it went. Make of it what you will. 

Thanks Alison Klein for the book recommendation...and oh yeah, I still have your book. Love you!

Ironically, the aspect I love most about this excerpt is not the way it defines miracles, but rather that it briefly notes the beautiful intricacies of our everyday lives. We call them miracles; much like we say we love dinner or that it was the best day ever. Today it was important for me to remember to notice good things that happen every day. To notice them. To relish them. Not to call them miracles, but to remember that rather than be bogged down in the bad, we can choose to see the good. Ah, perspective.

A Good Reminder

I am starting to become calloused. I realized that after finishing my ER rotation. I didn't think it would happen this soon. I'd say I'm about 60% too calloused.

I forget that we, as doctors (...future docs), provide a service. A relationship isn't a guarantee when you walk in to meet a patient. And by relationship I mean you give a little and so does the patient. It's nice when that happens and people are willing to work with you....but, ultimately, that's not a requirement of the patient. I need to remember that. Such is life.

But, today I had a heart melting experience. 

Walking out of the hospital today, I walked past an older gentleman who was also leaving. I turned to say hello, and unlike most people, he greeted me with a big, jolly," hello and how are you?" When I responded and asked how he was, he responded, "I'm great! I just had a CAT scan...It's gonna say my cancer is gone....I know it." 

Heart melted. Cancer was more than a word. It was a life, a name, and it had a favorite granddaughter who's name was also Amy. 

It's easy to walk by people in the hospital everyday and forget why they are there. Cancer has become a word on a page. Surgery has become no big deal. I forgot that it is a big deal. 

As if that wasn't enough, I also visited a patient as a friend, not a medical student. He had just had neck surgery and he also happened to be the general surgeon I spent a month with back in March. Just because we get to write all the big, fancy diagnoses down on paper every day, doesn't mean they don't happen to us. Doctors get sick. Surgeons need surgery. It was a little uncomfortable for me to be a visitor visiting a surgeon as the patient. The role reversal was a good reminder. 

Board exam number 2 is coming...

...which means more blogging due to the necessary study breaks.

So, I've started making mojitos for the first time and decided I probably don't need, but could definitely use, a muddler. Which then led me to the Crate and Barrel website. Which then led me to think, "The first thing I am going to do when I have a real job is go shopping at Crate and Barrel."

For now, feel free to window shop with me.

And in all honestly, I probably won't actually wait until I have a "big girl" job.

And I didn't wait to buy these.I actually just ordered a whole set...!

I'm partial to the Pilsners glass, I'm certain I'd drink every one of my beers out of it

I've always wanted to make sangria....in bulk....

A staple.

To keep the mint fresh for the mojitos of course! ...if I tried to grow it, I know it'd die.

I've always wanted a decanter. And a really big, fat wine glass.

This chair is just asking to be sat in. It also conveniently doubles as a twin bed .

Probably my favorite color. And it's on a couch!

Spring

About a week ago, I bought two little planting kits, one for tomatoes, and another for cilantro and basil. I planted these teeny, tiny, little seeds and doubted their ability to grow. Seriously doubted. I was actually expecting them not to grow. Well, guess what? They are growing. And now I'm doubting their ability to actually grow tomatoes or basil or cilantro. They looked so dead.

I've also been home this week, we have a week off of school so wisely placed during the first week of May as if someone knew I'd need a personal holiday right now. It also happens to be the week that spring decided to arrive, in all its beauty I might add. I've been watching the leaves bud on the trees and the flowers bloom in a day by day progression. It's kind of amazing. And with time to think, I've been thinking about how important it is for me to see something dead and seemingly lifeless, bloom.

I picked up Blue Like Jazz this week and am rereading a book for the first time in my life. I  can feel God speaking through it directly to my heart, which has felt lifeless for quite some time. Not that I'm not happy, I am very, very happy. But, I've learned I can be happy while still feeling far from God. That scares me. I have a family and so many friends, a career that I love, and the security of living in a safe, sheltered life. They all so  frequently take the place of God.

Donald Miller writes about Christian spirituality in Blue Like Jazz free from an explanation. I am realizing that for almost 25 years now I've been looking for a way to explain God. To explain my relationship with Him. I can't do it. And I think I have just realized for the first time in my life that I don't need to be able to explain it for it to be real. Why I have demanded an explanation from myself for so long probably stems from a life in academia, from a life in a first world country,  with many first world problems that often have proposed first world solutions. But, faith is being certain of what we cannot see. Knowing truth as something that has happened to us in the depths of our soul, not as something we have figured out. How freeing. Today I'm encouraged. I'm encouraged by the seeds that have sprouted, the trees that are blooming, and my heart that feels as if it is in communication with God. I can't explain it, but it's real.

It's like trying to explain where jazz music comes from.

The 6 Month Rule

There is something magic that happens after you live in a new place for 6 months. 

It's been about 7 months since I moved to Bay City and it finally feels like I've settled in. Erin Cvengros and I have noticed a pattern when moving to an unfamiliar place, so therefore I think it's starting to become a rule. A rule that says you must wait 6 months before judging a new city or deciding definitively if you like it there.

I like it here. I like walking in the hospital and saying a familiar hello to nurses and doctors I recognize. I like knowing the other students comfortably enough that I feel like I could call them on a weekday to go grab dinner or a drink because I also like that I now know where my favorite places to eat and drink are located. I like that I feel comfortable in the role of a third year medical student. I like that I can go to a new rotation and not feel nervous about not knowing what to expect. I like that constantly changing environments are now what I expect. I like that I've learned to be more comfortable in my naive medical and life knowledge. I like that I'm adjusting to being asked questions on the fly. I like that I'm here. And I like that I don't wish it was over.

I like feeling comfortable in my own skin. Upon reflecting back to where I was 7 months ago, it's hard to imagine where I'll be 7 months from now. And also really encouraging. I'm enjoying the uncertainty in my life because I am happy with who I am and where I am. And because I've finally persevered through the magic 6 months of growing pains. Here's to the next year and a half before doing another trial of the 6 month rule!

And I'm also really enjoying OB-GYN. It's been a very good week.