Geriatrics

So I really liked peds. But, there's not a substitute for the lady I saw with the doctor today.

Doctor: How was your cataract surgery Mrs. _____?
Patient: Well, they only did one, but I can see so well! And you know what else?! I told my daughter I looked in the mirror the other day and realized I didn't even recognize myself! Were'd all these wrinkles come from?!
Doctor: You tell your optometrist you don't want the other eye done if it's going to give you more wrinkles!
Patient: You're right doc! I don't need anymore wrinkles! And he gave them to me!

or....

The old man who told the doctor he was "practically in love" after I performed his prostate exam. What he meant was he was in love with my finger that was about a quarter of the size of the doctor's finger. I hope that wasn't too much information. It probably was...I hate it when old men make me blush. Then point it out, unfortunately it happens more regularly than I'd like.

or...

The long list of complaints written out in perfect cursive handwriting. Most of them only require reassurance. It's kind of the same as when a dad brings his kids to the pediatrician with a list from his wife, but either way, I like the lists.

or...

After listening to a long list of aches and pains and requests for a walker and wheelchair, it always makes me smile when they turn, look at me, and say, "You know those golden years everyone always talks about, they aren't golden! These are no golden years. You're young! You better have fun while you can." If I had a dollar for every time I heard the words "golden years"...