Mostly, because it's not today.
Do you ever have those days?
Today was that day for me.
I'm documenting it so someday I can look back on med school and think, "I'm glad those days are behind me." In case I forget or something. What's funny, well sort of funny, is that just yesterday I told Erin that it was the "best day ever" and that if given 100 million dollars I would still choose to be a doctor. And I wasn't lying! I don't really ever have days like this, for which I'm incredibly thankful. But, sometimes I do. It's the truth. And a bummer.
I may or may not have searched "Bad day" on youtube. Not surprisingly, youtube delivered...
I need to get some bubble wrap :)
I can hear what you're thinking. But sometimes, I think it's actually healthy to just say how you feel and right now, I feel like I am going to be a terrible doctor. (Please refrain from trying to persuade me otherwise...trust me, it'll make it worse) I think I'd just like to leave it to the gunners (an affectionate name we use in med school for the top 10% of the class aka the people who never do anything except study...I think I'm a little jealous, truth be told). It's hard not to think, ''I'm not gonna be able to actually help a single person. I'm totally incompetent. I'm not gonna remember anything I'm learning. I'm not as smart as anyone else here....and well, it's a downward spiral from there.
On a positive, it's really, really humbling. When I'm weak, then He is strong.
Thank you little ballerina for making me wish I was 4 years old again.
Sometimes I wish you were still the four-year old ballerina too! Thanks for a few good ideas for the office. And, just for the record, I'll be the first one in your waiting room, Dr. Luke . . . I'll take you over the gunners any day!
ReplyDeleteLove, Mom